Tough Times and Beauty
I have had some tough times in my life... nothing quite so bad as many, maybe most, others but painful just the same. When I left home to go to college, it was a strange time of mixed feelings. I was excited to start out my adult life. I was ready to make my own decisions and to study something I was passionate about. However, it also meant leaving my family far behind—too far to visit. The same was true for all my friends, my city, the language I was used to using, and a whole culture I enjoyed.
I had several months where I would get melancholy and nostalgic. To be honest, I have waves of nostalgia all the time. It is something I have to be careful about. No one can go back to yesterday, but it feels like it might be a consolation to revisit places, to reconnect with people. I do understand that none of that is true, though. Those things might make the ache of nostalgia worse!
It was during those early months in college that I started trying my hand at poetry. You can find some of those poems here on the blog if you care to try. They aren’t very good. But there was a healing aspect of trying to convey pain in a beautiful way. Or maybe it was a search for the beauty in the pain. Over time I was able to also try to find the aesthetic in other feelings, happiness, love, anger, etc.
However, as tough as launching is, nothing compares to the challenge of watching your own kids launch! When it is you, you deal with things. You turn to God. You deepen your faith. You find your way to the other side. You learn that life is a rollercoaster of highs and lows, but there is always excitement in the hope of what is to come. Watching your kids, you are somewhat helpless. You must let them navigate things so that they will learn what you have learned. Easing the path would only stunt and hinder.
I don’t know if I have poetry for that.
I had several months where I would get melancholy and nostalgic. To be honest, I have waves of nostalgia all the time. It is something I have to be careful about. No one can go back to yesterday, but it feels like it might be a consolation to revisit places, to reconnect with people. I do understand that none of that is true, though. Those things might make the ache of nostalgia worse!
It was during those early months in college that I started trying my hand at poetry. You can find some of those poems here on the blog if you care to try. They aren’t very good. But there was a healing aspect of trying to convey pain in a beautiful way. Or maybe it was a search for the beauty in the pain. Over time I was able to also try to find the aesthetic in other feelings, happiness, love, anger, etc.
However, as tough as launching is, nothing compares to the challenge of watching your own kids launch! When it is you, you deal with things. You turn to God. You deepen your faith. You find your way to the other side. You learn that life is a rollercoaster of highs and lows, but there is always excitement in the hope of what is to come. Watching your kids, you are somewhat helpless. You must let them navigate things so that they will learn what you have learned. Easing the path would only stunt and hinder.
I don’t know if I have poetry for that.
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