A "Crazy Rich Asians" (2018) Quote

Crazy Rich Asians was a surprise hit this year. It is an especially interesting movie for people who live cross-culturally. The insights and observations are rich. In particular, there is a scene near the end of the film, where our protagonist, Rachel, confronts her boyfriend’s mom.

“You didn't like me the second I got here. Why is that? “
“There is a Hokkien phrase 'kaki lang'. It means: our own kind of people, and you're not our own kind.”
“Because I'm not rich? Because I didn't go to a British boarding school, or wasn't born into a wealthy family? “
“You're a foreigner. American - and all Americans think about is their own happiness.”
“Don't you want Nick to be happy?”
“It's an illusion. We understand how to build things that last. Something you know nothing about.”

The whole scene is a delight because Rachel, a game theory specialist, uses the opportunity to show up her enemy, but it also exposes the fact that Eleanor does not, in fact, know her. She has her prejudices exposed. But, there is a lot of truth to the prejudices Eleanor has about Americans.

We tend to be obsessed with “happiness.” And, we have a culture that is too content with temporary things.

Perhaps it has something to do with having our country founded on, among other things, the statement, “the pursuit of happiness.” Never mind that the Declaration does not count happiness as a right, but merely the opportunity to seek it. Americans hold happiness far too high on the list of qualities for a good life. Contentment and joy are much better things to seek, and allow for the inevitable suffering, hardship, and challenges that are a part of every life without rendering them as failures.

It is true that our culture in general is far too obsessed with personal happiness, and not looking to the greater good or the value of hard work and sacrifice the way we used to. For a country that many claim to be a “Christian nation” we do not emphasize the Kingdom values of mutual submission, the good of others, helping the least and the foreigner, the widow and the orphan, as much as we used to. In fact, we (and sadly that predominately includes the Evangelicals in America) have declared ourselves to be a country that is looking out for number 1 and that we need to ignore all others in our pursuit of success.

When we sacrifice some comfort for the good of others or the all, we might discover that the “all” benefiting includes us.