The Backup

Jeb pushed the lever, heard the familiar swoosh,
Then felt the air rushing past his ears.
He loved to flush his super-duper, heavy-duty toilet,
He’d got for Christmas only just last year.

But today the swoosh was just a little weaker than the norm’
And a gurgle rose up from within the pipes’
And as the pressure built up from deep beneath the house,
The toilet moaned and Jeb exclaimed, “Oh Yipes!”

He knew the worst had come when the water hit his backside,
As he squatted before the toilet half upright,
And as the water entered down his half pulled up trousers,
Jeb saw passing before him his entire life.

His cowboy hat flew off next, and his boots filled to the rims,
And the water flew right past him out the door,
And as it rose up towards the ceiling he started hydroplaning,
Right across the white tile bathroom floor.

That was about five hours ago, and I haven’t heard a thing since.
I suppose he’s still sliding down the street.
I guess I’ll have to take the pick-up and follow the trail of water,
And see if I can’t bring him back in one piece.